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Being a professional athlete is no different than any other profession. If you do it long enough,
a few lessons will rub off on you. Most good doctors don’t get that way until they have been in
practice for 20 years and have seen every possible human malady at least 73 times. A good cop
won’t write a ticket to every person he or she pulls over. The cop just knows that some people
respond better to a warning. The same goes for engineers, lawyers, politicians (well, maybe not),
and firefighters—after awhile, you just get good at it.
I was a professional athlete for 19 years. In that time, I learned a lot about myself, my
competitors, and the world around us. I figured it was about time I started to write down some of
these lessons, just in case I got squashed by a cigarette truck while out on a bike ride.
1. If you do well in a particular game or race, don’t ever say you had “The Perfect Race.” All the rest of us who struggled just to have an acceptable race will be bitter and jealous. You are also setting the bar pretty high for your future events.
2. Always wait for your friends to finish a race. Remember the immortal words of that prophet Yogi Berra: “Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t go to yours.”
3. If you need to leave a pile of clothes on the beach while you go for a swim, always put your dirty, skid-marked underwear on top of the pile. Any proper thief would walk right by, even if
your Rolex is in plain sight.
4. Be honest with your training partners. Lie to someone else if you must but not to the men and women you sweat with.
5. Always carry $20 on every ride, run, paddle, climb, or ski. You can buy a drink in the darndest places.
6. Set four alarms the night before an important race. Set three if the race is meaningless.
7. Always have at least three pairs of athletic shoes in “rotation.” They all work just a little different. Don’t be cheap with your feet. They have to hold everything else up—including your ego.
8. Don’t ever sell anything that somebody else gave you. Bad karma!
9. Keep the post-workout beer cold. Don’t worry about returning phone calls or feeding the kids. I repeat: Keep the beer cold.
10. Know the directions to the race site.
11. Always acknowledge compliments from fans, volunteers and loved ones, regardless of your mood, condition, or standing.
12. Choose your workout music well.
13. Don’t drive a nice car. You will only get chain grease from your bike on the fine
Corinthian-leather seats anyway.
14. Spend a lot on a bike seat, but little on vitamins.
15. Read books by good writers who aren’t athletes, not good athletes who aren’t writers.
16. Ignore a sideache; listen to a blister.
17. Never bad-mouth a health club. Some people really benefit from their presence.
18. Never bad-mouth a lifeguard, a forest ranger, or a race official. You may end up needing
them.
19. Sunscreen is overrated. Hats are underrated.
20. Always keep a pair of running shoes in your car. And every time you find yourself using them, think of my smiling face.
21. Learn to sail well before you die.
22. Never keep score in hearts, personal favors or golf.
23. Keep your first pair of skis and hang them on the wall of the dream cabin you will finally build in the mountains.
24. Keep a prodigious training log for six months. Then throw it away and never keep a log
again.
25. Own a Timex Ironman watch once in your life.
26. Buy expensive sunglasses and cheap T-shirts.
27. Always offer to split your PowerBar with a friend.
28. Learn how to change a flat tire in less than five minutes.
29. Spend one night a year sleeping outside under the stars.
30. Be careful who you choose to train with. Forget about who you have to race.
31. Once a day, be very, very grateful.
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