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My running partner is the best. Ernie never blows off our scheduled workouts, or shows up late, or
complains that I’m going too fast or too slow, or babbles about boring stuff like PRs and shin
splints, or wears a spiffier outfit than mine. Every runner should have an Ernie.
Ernie’s a female (short for Ernesta), five-year-old Australian Shepherd/Queensland Heeler mix
who has run hundreds of miles with me and my wife Janet. Ernie runs on trails, on the beach, on the
road, in rain and sunshine, with groups of people (and other dogs), and in people and dog races
such as the Wag ’n Walk in Palo Alto, California.
Dogs make great running companions, but Ernie and I have seen too many humans doing stupid things
with their canine partners—errors that could make the run unpleasant or doggone unsafe for the
animal. In the interest of improved canine-human running relations, I asked Ernie to share her
hard-won knowledge. She graciously agreed to sit—and stay, and roll over—for an interview
on the subject. Here’s an excerpt:
Q: What are some of your pet peeves about how human runners treat their dogs?
A: Actually, we animals call them human peeves. Before I answer that, let me first wag
my tail for all dog owners who run or even walk with their pet. We need exercise for the same reasons
you guys do. It helps keep us trim, fit, and happy. Too many humans don’t seem to understand
this. That said, one problem I see among human runners is rushing their dogs into exercise. If you
haven’t been running us, start gradually. Take us for some walks first. Then maybe mix walking
with jogging. Then start running.
Q: Any other tips?
A: Cut back on the mileage when we get older, around age 7 or 9. Maybe alternate
short-run days with long-walk days. And keep in mind that some breeds are better for running than
others. Herders like me, of course, can be excellent—as long as you’re not jogging in a
sheep pasture. Hunting breeds tend to do well, too. But you don’t want to run your
miniature-breed dogs.
Q: What are your thoughts on injury prevention?
A: Huh? Oh, sorry—thought I saw a cat. Don’t run me on hot pavement or my
footpads might burn. If I run in grass, it’s especially important to keep my nails trimmed to
avoid soft-tissue or joint injuries. Trails are good, but watch out for cuts or scrapes. If I start
to limp, take me to that awful place with the needles and the cold examination table...
Q: The vet?
A: Exactly.
Q: What about overheating?
A: Grrr-eat question. We’re not big on heat and humidity. You try running on a
90-degree day in a fur coat. We can overheat quickly, especially those of us with a dark or heavy
coat. If it’s a hot day, run us in the early morning or evening. If we overheat, get us cold
water, but don’t force us to drink. Hose us down with cool water, too. And for crying out loud,
when we’re running let us jump in the creek or run through puddles—it helps us keep cool. Hey,
it’s not my fault if you forget to wipe my feet afterward and a little mud gets on the couch.
Q: I’ve been meaning to ask you about that...
A: Uh, be right with you. Gotta spin around and grab the end of my tail for a
sec... Almost had it. There it is... Damn! Come back here... Got it! Sorry. Where were
we?
Q: This seems like a good time to talk about obedience.
A: I’m all for obedience classes. Frankly, they’re more for you guys than for
us. Look, we’re pack animals. We want to be told what to do. If you don’t establish that
you’re the alpha dog, I’ll take over. Then things get r-r-r-ruff. I see it all the time
on the trails—animals completely out of control, clueless owners, people getting tripped or
bitten, dogs running away. Obedience classes clarify the rules of behavior. Look at you and me. We
went to class and now we both know you’re the alpha, and we’re happier that way. I would
never question your right to sleep on your third of the bed or buy me premium-brand kibble.
Q: How do you feel about leashes?
A: Gotta have ’em. About 6-feet long is best. That gives me enough room to maneuver
but keeps me from wandering. I hate those extender leashes. Inevitably some pet owner gets
distracted and lets the leash unreel until the dog is 10 or 20 feet away. Next thing you know,
I’ve got some cold nose up my butt. Or that oncoming mountain biker gets clotheslined.
Q: Tell me about food.
A: I was begging for that question. We need a well-balanced diet, just like you guys.
But you wouldn’t eat a sirloin right before running and neither should we—though of
course, there’s nothing wrong with giving me sirloin any other time. Seriously, don’t run
me on a full stomach and make sure I’m rested and cooled down before we head out. Feed me
afterward.
Q: What about cleanup?
A: I’ve never really understood humans’ obsession with dog poop. Sniff it and
move on, is what I say. But I guess if you’re not bright enough to watch where you step,
it’s a good idea to clean the stuff up. I notice you and Janet bring along rolled-up plastic
bags that you knot around your wrists.
Q: We call them “Ernie bracelets.”
A: Oh, man. Sometimes I think you go out of your way to embarrass
me.
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