Ma, Are We There Yet?

My wife and I have taken many vacations with our two daughters—now aged 19 and 15—and we’ve learned the hard way how to travel successfully as a family. (Take it from us: Don’t combine a cross-country sightseeing trip with transporting a truckload of furniture in an un-air-conditioned rental truck in the dead of summer for 10 days.)

Family vacations can be great, with a little planning and ingenuity. Here are our hard-earned tips:

Separate the kids in the car. This takes planning and careful monitoring, and can be plain impossible if you have a gaggle of kids. The idea is to let the grunts play as long as they’re playing together nicely. But as soon as attention begins to wander, it’s time to step in to avoid the inevitable “You’re staring at me” comment and the fight that ensues. Various tactics can work: Move Junior into the front seat (only if he’s old enough; laws vary) and give him a job like watching for the next mileage sign; put things between kids so they can’t touch or even see each other (a large cooler may work); rent a larger vehicle so passengers have more space.

Pack presents. A great way to train the kids to behave is to wrap some small gifts (decks of cards, bingo games, etc.) ahead of time and then surprise the kids by distributing them along the way. Once they know this is going to happen, they’re more likely to behave.

Exercise your airplane rights. Two advantages of flying with kids not to miss: Usually, you board first. And, they’ll let you sit in the bulkhead seats, which offer more space. All you have to do is request them. You might also ask for a kid’s meal, though they sometimes stink.

Plan activities for everyone. One of the keys to successful travel with kids is giving them something to look forward to. It can often be something simple that you also enjoy, such as a hot-fudge sundae, a movie, or swimming. As long as you plan a few fun activities, your kids will put up with a lot of boring adult stuff.

Let the kids rule the hotel room at night. This is a tough one. But short of renting two rooms (what a concept!), this seems to work best. If the kids can turn the beds into trampolines and watch The Real World, they’ll feel better. You can always read a book or walk to the lobby and hang out with the other fogies. One tip: We’ve found that kids are much happier in better (always bigger) hotel rooms—so try to avoid the Roach Motel if you afford it.

Bring plenty of food. There’s nothing like munchies to tame the savage beast in your child. Carry a bunch in the car and when you’re hiking around, and offer it often to keep them comfortable and preoccupied. (Not too much sugar, though.)

Stop often when driving. You can prevent that cooped-up feeling by letting the kids out of the rolling cage every couple of hours to run around and work off some energy. Heck, it’s even good for you to stop.

Consider your driving route and be flexible about your plans. Any boob can pick the shortest route between two places and race to the destination. If you’re not forced to do that, take a route with scenery and interesting places to stop along the way. With more to see and do, your kids will be happier.

Go digital. Our kids loved playing with Game Boys (those little digital interactive worlds made by Nintendo) on trips, both when driving and flying—and anytime there wasn’t much else to do. I’d strongly suggest a Game Boy for each kid, for obvious reasons—and be sure to bring plenty of extra batteries. These days there are other diversions you might consider, too, such as a laptop with a DVD drive, which would let them watch Toy Story while traveling.

Pack intelligently. Our theory: The easier it is to lug the bags and find the comfort stuff that you’ve packed, the less chance of meltdown. Pick luggage suited to the size of the person toting it (and by all means, get bags with wheels on the bottoms for easy pulling), and let each kid bring a carry-on with his or her fun stuff in it.