Why Hoard Vacation Time?

Feeling a little edgy? Looking a bit pale? Exercising your options instead of your muscles? Started giving your laptop a goodnight kiss? Sounds like you’ve been spending way too much time at work. Here are the top-10 signs you’re ready for a vacation:

10. You step outside the office and see the sun in the sky. It gives you a headache.

9. You catch yourself saying, “I like commuting. It gives me a chance to think.”

8. You bend down to pick up your pen. You can’t straighten up again.

7. You really, really want a car fax.

6. When you finally come home, your dog growls at you.

5. When you finally come home, your kids growl at you.

4. You show up at your front door with a bouquet of flowers for your partner, who says “Have a nice day,” gives you a tip, and closes the door.

3. You’re caught up on your e-mail, and proud of it.

2. Speeding past a park full of Frisbee players on a Tuesday afternoon, you roar “Doesn’t anybody in this town work for a living?!”—just like Dad always used to say.

1. Your boss, Mr. Whiplash, gives you the name of his cardiologist.