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Question:
I feel stuck in a rut. My husband wants to leave me for his secretary. Can you believe that? But I want him to stay in our
marriage, which needs work. How can I make myself feel better about myself? Is it a matter
of losing weight and running a marathon like you have done? Where or how do I start? Once
I feel more self-confident, I think my marriage will improve. My husband agrees. Help
me!
Answer:
Life is a daily exercise—making daily choices and daily decisions. Each time you make a decision, you are deciding what your priorities are. And when you make positive choices, you gain
self-confidence and continue to make better decisions. When you make certain choices, you
will see that you are actually changing your habits. And habits are powerful—whether
they are good or bad.
I continually form better and better habits, and work on old habits that keep me from
progressing. It’s an ongoing process. It’s all part of the journey. During the
last three years, I have changed many habits and I’m still making discoveries along
the way because there is NO FINISH LINE!
You might break out of your rut by enlisting the support of friends. People are social
creatures by nature, so the idea of working out with someone else and having a little
company is a welcome one. There is definitely strength in numbers. But challenges do
arise: what happens when your friend cancels for the day? Naturally, you expected that you
and your friend would be walking or running together in your fitness quest. Now she’s
injured, or her kid’s sick, and you’re all alone. What next?
In my case, since I own my own health and fitness, I work out alone. Yes it’s lonely
and yes it’s tough to be motivated sometimes, but I do it because this is who I am and
this is what I do. On weekends, I love getting together with some of the local Connectors.
During the week, it’s just me baby, pounding the sidewalks or riding the miles, and my
thoughts are my only company—which I enjoy, actually. That’s my time to clear out
the cobwebs. That’s how I look at it. But if you’re just trying to get off the
couch, plan your workout for any time that you can.
If you’re not a morning person, a morning workout may have to be something you work
your way into. Incorporating your workout into your daily schedule is the key to making it
part of your life forever. Your workout can be as simple as walking on the treadmill while
you watch your favorite television program.
And if you hear yourself saying, “I don’t feel like it,” join the club! How
often do we have to do things in life that we don’t feel like doing? Every day! Do we
really feel like going to the grocery store, paying bills, standing in line at the post
office, or waking up at 2 a.m. to feed the baby? Yet, we know we’ll definitely feel
better after we take care of ourselves! No one feels like working out, so drop this as an
excuse. I remind myself that I feel better when I walk 15 minutes a day—that I have
more energy for the whole day after I get out and knock down those first few minutes of
exercise.
One trick that works really well for me is to begin gently. Tell yourself, “It’s
only ten minutes. Just walk slowly for ten minutes. No pressure.” Then once you are
out there, your mind will drag your body further than they both thought you could go. I
used to think, “I’ll just walk to the bagel shop and back.” That way, I was
thinking that I was just getting breakfast and not really working out! After three or four
weeks, you’ll be using fewer tricks, and you may even find yourself looking forward
to your workout!
Hopefully this will get you out of your rut, and I hope your marriage works
out too!
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